if you like me you must not know who I am
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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