Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
