my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
