Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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