escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
