Moan for me like Helen Keller
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
