and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
