i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're too hungover to prance.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
