she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize