so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
