She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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