Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
