There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
