If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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