i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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