How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
