Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
