If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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