I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
