did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just forgot I was standing up.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize