dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
