It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
