Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
