Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
