this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
