you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
