Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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