Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
