no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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