What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
