There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
