Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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