my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
