Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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