there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
