Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
