And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
