her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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