you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
