...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
