he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
