who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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