I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
