Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dude. I can hear the air.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
