love makes seman taste better
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
