Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
