he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
