the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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