pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
