im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
