Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
