Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
