It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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